52 again this morning, but no fog. Heavy dew gives our plants a little moisture. No rain in sight until possibly Sunday.
Linking today to Tom's Signs2
I saw this in the parking lot of a local business the other day, and liked the juxtaposition of the sign behind it. Talk about getting the boot!
I'm taking a break and enjoying a rare treat: French vanilla coffee. Larry doesn't like flavored coffees so I rarely have it on hand, but I picked this up the other day since he wasn't here.
How often do we old married couples defer to each other's likes and dislikes, I wonder? For instance, Larry likes chocolate ice cream, while I prefer fruity ice cream. We usually get chocolate because I'm okay with it, but he won't eat the fruit ones I like--black raspberry, peach, black cherry, oh yum. He is allergic to shellfish, so I don't fix it at home or order it when we're out, just to be sure even tbe sme won't cause him to have a reaction (yes, it can). This morning I canned pinto beans, which I don't like but he loves.
He, on the other hand, will watch movies I like but he doesn't, although I will rarely ever watch one of his westerns or war movies. He will make tea for me, which he doesn't drink, and handles all dog/cat occasional messes (vomit, yuck!). All these little compromises, usually made without any real discussion, seem to be part and parcel of marriage
In a (bad) movie I watched recently, a character commented that the longer one is in a relationship, the more of oneself one loses. That made me think! Have I lost some of myself? Perhaps. I am more arts inclined than my husband, long to attend some events that he does not want to go to, so I don't. I should add that he says I should go, but the fun is in the sharing, at least for me. But maybe I should change that, and learn to go and enjoy alone? I can think of more such examples, but you see what I mean. What do you think? Have you given up something of yourself in your relationship, whether married or longterm?
On the other hand, I think we also gain and grow the longer we are together. For example, Larry opened my eyes and taught me a great deal about the coal mining culture he grew up in, and the Vietnam War from his veteran's perspective. Both hard growing-up experiences from which I was completely sheltered. He learned from me about folklore, superstitions, storytelling, and joined me in exploring my English and Irish heritage.
Marriage, especially I think between two people like Larry and me who come from completely different backgrounds, can be challenging, and takes constant care to keep it alive and growing.
Now, back to my coffee, which I shall enjoy during the time I have left to do so. And maybe that's another change I should consider: get my own pot to make the coffee I like!
That's a nice warm boot for the winter :-)) I guess in all the relationships, we all have to take a little and give a little to make them work. My husband learned to play piano when he was 5 and can play lots of music instruments while I cannot play a single one, but this doesn't stop us from appreciating good music together.
ReplyDeleteI so wish I could play an instrument! But it was not in my genes, I guess, although several grandchildren play guitar very well.
DeleteLove the shoe photo! And it looks like you have Fire King or jadeware dishes? I love those!
ReplyDeleteI have a few pieces, but my mug is a reproduction so I feel safe using it, lol! I have a few cups and saucers, a serving bowl, and a cream and sugar, but that's the extent of my "collection".
DeleteGreat post! Your marriage sounds a lot like mine. Barb gives up a lot more than me, usually in the food and TV areas. She buys foods I like and often does without the ones she likes. I would be perfectly okay with the opposite but she is the food buyer so that is just how she rolls. I would be more than happy to do the things she wants but we rarely do. I know several married couples who seem to think marriage is about who is winning but to me, when you love someone, those things just don't seem to matter.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point, Jim. Its not at all about winning, but how well we pull together in harness, isn't it.
DeleteLife is short. Need I say more?
ReplyDeleteTruth!
DeleteI always wonder when women say they love certain food but don´t cook it cause their hubby does not like it.
ReplyDeleteIngo and I have sometimes different tastes, so what? He cooks what he wants, I do mine and we sit both down and enjoy.
With films we tried but those we don´t enjoy together, no worries. We are no Siamese twins!
We have enough to share and he always supports me like buying arts supplies or the sewing machine and teaching me, too.
Luckily outdoor-activities we share like 90%.
It´s a give and take, right? There are ups and downs, life is not perfect cause that would also be boring and we would not appreciate to great times. Too good marriages :-)
I guess we gravitate to things that both of us like, but we still do our own things too. We both really like watching British mystery series, but she won't watch hockey with me, and I am not very interested in some of the things that she watched on her computer -- the Got Talent shows, for example.
ReplyDeleteAnd the differences make it interesting, I think.
DeleteThanks everyone for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a lot of give and take.
ReplyDelete