Friday, April 29, 2011

Treading Water

Right now that's how it feels. I don't feel motivated to get out in the greenhouse or garden. I don't want to start any new projects. I force myself to write and keep up with this blog and my other blogs.

Why?

Because retirement is right around the corner, just days away. I know life is about to change drastically so to keep up with my everyday activities--well, they're just overshadowed. My mind is elsewhere, planning ahead, making sure everything is taken care of, working on budgets, etc. I worry that we won't have enough money. I wonder if we'll really be able to make the ends meet.

In the midst of all my worrying, Larry has a few things going on like reassessment by the Veteran's Administration. PTSD and Agent Orange have had huge impacts on his life and now the VA is looking into that. This could be a good thing but right now it's another layer on top of the other things I'm trying to assimilate and deal with.

So if I haven't been writing about home things, now you know why. Soon, very soon, the layers of worry will begin to shed like old skin. And then, I hope, I will be able to focus on the things I love once again, and to laugh about how I was so worried.

So stay tuned. We'll return to our regularly scheduled programming on May 11--the first official day of retirement.

12 comments:

Gingerbreadshouse7 said...

Sometimes we worry in vain! I don't say let tomorrow take care of tomorrow, I do say that when tomorrow comes deal with it! If you have reached retirement, Life has already taught you that lesson...Just put yourself in the frame of mind to deal with it the best you can and I'm sure you will do well...

Granny Sue said...

Good advice, Gingerbread. One day at a time is my mantra.

Angela said...

I'm sure that you will make it just fine Granny Sue! I remember worrying about quitting my job 16 years ago to just stay home and take care of things around the house and then the kids. We did just fine. I'm sure you and Larry will too!

Chip "Rocket Man" Allen said...

I hope Larry has the sort of experience I'm having with the VA. After finally being accepted into the VA medical care system when the maximum income level was raised in 2009 I have to say I'm getting the best medical care I've had since getting out of the service. That includes when I was still able to work and paying nearly $6,000 a year in premiums plus co-pays!

A Vintage Green said...

Deep breath. Follow your daily patterns, one step at a time. Make lists, check things off. Hope for the very best with VA. VA saved my Dad's retirement life, without it he would be living with one of us. Drink another glass of water. Deep breath. All the best Sue.
- Joy

Twisted Fencepost said...

I can totally relate. Too much stress and worry has kept me from writing in my blog. I just don't feel creative right now.

Granny Kate said...

This is where I've been, too. We've got big changes coming -- I'm not sure what they all are, but life feels like a held breath. I don't even have any unasked for advice to give -- that's how unmotivated I am at this point.

Ah well, we'll just put one foot in front of the other and my guess is thateventually, we'll see we've been going somewhere all along.

Brighid said...

This will be behind you soon and you will wonder why you worried so much. Keep the faith! Move on, retaining some of the old and looking forward to tomorrow. I've practically chanted this to myself this past year...most of the time it works for me.
You'll do fine.

warren said...

Take a look out your window at all of the beautiful dogwoods. If that doesn't make everything better....

Angel said...

I'd say your iniment retirement would be considered a big change. :D

Can't say anything that hasen't been already but am sending good, happy thoughts you guy's way that this transition goes super smooth.

Granny Sue said...

Thank you all for your wise and understanding comments! This is a roller coaster--sometimes I am so optimistic, others I worry; sometimes it seems like a great adventure, other times like "what the heck am I doing!"

One thing is certain: I have not been happy in my job since my position changed a few years ago, and a change had to happen one way or the other. This is probably step one--and I am really curious about where the cumulative steps will take me :)

Granny Sue said...

Chip, I hope you're right. We're keeping our fingers crossed on that one. The care he's had from the VA for Agent-Orange related issues has been very good so far.

Becky, there is a light at the end. College consumes you while you're in school but it does come to an end! I remember those days well and know how you are feeling now. Hold on, though, it will be worth it in the end.

Brighid, you're an inspiration. As one who has had a year of change yourself, you know this path. I take faith from your words.

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