"I knew something was wrong when she started talking about opera. I raised that girl on country music and bluegrass. Then when we were huntin' she started talking about opera."
Sounds like the perfect beginning to a country song, doesn't it? I started right in on it when someone suggested the idea on Facebook, and here is what I have so far:
We was headin' to the woods one rainy fall day
when my woman turned to me and I heard my woman say
Well I know you like your guns and your banjo and your Tonya
but as for me, well honey, I love the opera!
She's got her cowboy boots and her 30-30 rifle,
she looks real fine when she's carryin' my duffle.
But I can't stand it when she opens her choppers,
and she starts singin' that classical opera!
Friends suggested adding verses about how she's redone the house in chintz and pink florals, towels with embroidery and fine corduroy, bought furniture from Ikea, and gotten above her raisin'. So, anyone want to write a verse or two for this sure-to-be-a-classic country song?
All of the above has made my sick days not boring, although some of it is worrying and saddening. I'd blame it on Dog Days but honestly, I think the finger needs to be pointed at humankind and the troubles our kind get into.
Anything exciting or strange to report from your neck of the woods? Surely West Virginia isn't the only place with strange goings-on these days.
Copyright Susanna Holstein. All rights reserved. No Republication or Redistribution Allowed without attribution to Susanna Holstein.