Rendering Out: A Poem

A prompt on a writing roundtable led me to write this. A comment by a friend back in 1977 or 1978 was the basis of the poem.

Rendering

The Internet’s buzzing with something brand new
For people who can’t fit into size 22
All over the country it’s the current new rage
For the rotund and chunky, no matter their age
The ones who find they have eaten too well
And strain to put on their sweats (XXL)
Those who as children cleaned up their plate
And find themselves now just a tad overweight

The solution is surprisingly, inexpensively simple
It seems we can lose those derriere dimples
No tablets or powders, drinks or pink pills
No requirement to even power up your will
Just stand very close to the cast iron wood stove
With your back to the fire instead of your toes
You’ll know it’s working when you feel the glow
Of lard warming up and starting to flow

Your extra fat layers will soak up the heat
Melt into liquid and pool at your feet
Your fanny and thighs will be trim as can be
And you’ll want to shout, “Just look at me!”
Stove sales are reaching a century high
As everywhere fat people rush out to buy
It’s the newest thing out in diets these days
Advertisers just call it “the rendering craze.”

Susanna Holstein c2007