Worries

I suppose that reading this blog a person might think I live a life without worry. I write about the good things in my life, the little joys that make up my days, the deep peace of country living, the awareness of the world around me.

I have problems, like anyone else. The ongoing war makes my stomach sick and tight. With two sons in the military, I live each day with the knowledge they may be called to serve there. One has already been to Iraq, and well I remember the stress of that 15 months.

My father's death is still heavy in my heart, and so is my mother's. Losing both within a year was a shock I have yet to get over. I miss their voices the most, and still find myself thinking I need to call them--and then remember, they're not there.

Work has its own stress and worry. With the recent promotion came more duties that make the job challenging and full of unexpected twists. Suddenly I find myself third in line from the top, a place I never wanted to be. But here I am.

Being married to a Vietnam vet is no simple task. While I know that my husband does not have the deep problems of many others, there are days that are difficult to get through, especially when it rains. We cope. I know when to leave him be, and we get through the dark times.

My worries are less than they used to be. Life has gotten simpler in many ways. I know that I am fortunate. I have five sons, all healthy. I have a husband of 20 years, a large and loving family, many grandchildren. I have a good job and a home I love. I have other loves too-storytelling, writing, gardening. I am a lucky woman, and I am grateful for that.

That is why I write about the good things in my life. The worries are there--I give them a nod and glance of recognition, often a prayer, and go on about my day. They do not rule my life.

Worry might provide a few minor notes, but never the melody I sing.