Keeping Time

72 this morning, with 92% humidity. Yuck. Slowly improving as the day goes on, but hotter.

Big Ben under repair, London, August 2019

The kitchen clock decided to quit working yesterday, and the bedroom clock's battery seems to have gone on the fritz at the same time. So knowing what time it is today is not as easy as it usually is, since these are the main two timekeepers we look at as we pass through the house.

It's quite odd, really, not knowing the time. I have noticed in the past that I almost have an obsession with the time, always keeping an eye on the clock as I go about my day. Once in my office at work I had 4 clocks. Four. And that wasn't counting the one on the computer, or my watch. I pared that down as soon as I noticed it, and quit wearing a watch. What was I thinking? That by clock-watching I could slow down time? Get more done? Be on time for everything? I don't know, really, but it did make me pause, and take stock of what I was doing. One result of that was early retirement--obviously, if I was so pressured that I needed four clocks, it was time to go.

But old habits die hard. Here at home I had clocks in every room for a while, even in the bathroom. Honestly, it's a wonder I didn't have them in the closets. I've been getting rid of some of them, and leaving others that I just like without batteries so they're only decorative. 

Today I find myself still glancing at the kitchen wall where the clock was--and noticing the perfect circle left there when we took the clock down, a good sign that repainting is in our near future. But I look for the clock every time I walk through the kitchen. Maybe I haven't changed that much after all.

Which makes me wonder, what if I just took out all the clocks? How would it be to get up when I felt like it, go to bed the same way, and go through the day just doing what I wanted or needed to do with no clock to tell me if I was taking too long, needed to be doing something else, or whatever? Surely there was a time when people didn't have clocks and only lived their lives by the sun and moon, light and dark? What if we did that now? Are we all so driven by clocks that we wouldn't know how to act without them? 

It's an alluring idea, I admit. Could I do it? I don't know. There are those events/responsibilities in life that require us to be somewhere at a specific time, sure. But as a retired person, how often is that? A few times a week at most, if that. Maybe the kitchen clock will not be replaced. I would probably go on looking at that circle on the wall for a long while. I bet that in London, while Big Ben has been being repaired and restored, people still looked for his face every day, just out of habit.

Meanwhile, I've kind of enjoyed this "timeless" day. I might just have to make a new habit of it.

Copyright Susanna Holstein. All rights reserved. No Republication or Redistribution Allowed without attribution to Susanna Holstein.

Time, Forward and Back

Turning back the clocks yesterday got me thinking about time. How it controls our lives. How we use it for both good and bad. How quickly it passes sometimes, and how slowly at others.

At this point of my life, time is passing all too quickly. While just a few years ago I thought comfortably that I possibly had at least a quarter of my life left to live--now I see that window narrowing perceptibly as each day goes by. Sometimes it leaves a feeling of desperation because there are so many things I have yet to do, see, feel, and hear.Other times, I look back and think how awesome this ride has been so far, even with its pain and sorrow--there has been much joy to balance it all.

Yesterday, after our busy day of apple butter making, and after a month of travel and work, I was pretty useless. I was glad to have that extra hour and yet, by seven in the evening I wanted to go to bed! I forced myself to stay up until nine, and even then I knew I'd be awake much too early. After my son and granddaughter left, I spent yesterday cleaning up from the weekend, doing a little cooking and otherwise just wandering around the house thinking that I should do something--but there was no energy behind the thought.

Which got me back to thinking about time. All the clocks in my house seem to be set at different times.

My bedside clock is ten minutes fast so I can fool myself into thinking I'm lying in when really I'm getting up at the planned time.

The kitchen clock is about 15 minutes fast to allow the time from the door to the car and up the driveway when we go somewhere--I never factor that part into travel plans so I have to allow for it by the kitchen clock, which is our main go-to for the time.

This clock in the log room runs backwards. I don't know why, it just does, so it lives in its own time-warp, and sometimes I like to visit that dimension too.

The little crystal clock on the end table is sometimes right on the money, unless the battery dies and I forget to change it. In the bathroom, another crystal clock is 15 minutes fast for no reason whatsoever, I just forget to change it.

Larry's bedside clock might be the only one in the house with the right time most of the time,

but maybe this award clock is right too, so long as I remember to put in a new battery when needed.

I'm never really sure--the only place I know I can find the exact right time is this computer. As I took these photos, I set all the clocks to 4 o'clock, or somewhere close to it, but it took me a while to get around to them all, so none of them are really right now.

We have so many minutes in a day, whatever the clocks say. How we use them is up to us, of course. Some people think writing this blog is a waste of my time--I could be writing a book, they say. For me, it's a place to think, to share, to promote this beautiful state of West Virginia and to record my life journal-style.

Others consider Facebook a to be time-wasting, but for me it's my connection to the world since often I see no one for several days except my husband. I enjoy seeing babies, costumes, fall photos, birthday wishes and news of what's going on with friends and family.

We all waste time in one way or another, be it online, mindless shopping trips, a bad relationship, a job we hate, or a place we don't want to live. We make the choices, don't we? Deciding what is worth the precious moments we're allotted is up to each one of us. The key, I think, is making those decisions consciously.

And today, I choose to write, think, and read. Sometimes doing nothing much at all is really the best use of time of all.

Copyright Susanna Holstein. All rights reserved. No Republication or Redistribution Allowed without attribution to Susanna Holstein.