Here's what I came up with:
Choice
photo citation: Steve Dewey,
Utah State University, Bugwood.org
Steam rose from the blue pottery mug. An age-spotted hand lifted it unsteadily.
A sip. A sigh.
The cup returned to the counter.
Another hand, young and soft, picked it up.
“Good?”
“Yes.”
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
“This is how you want it?”

A sip. A sigh.
The cup returned to the counter.
Another hand, young and soft, picked it up.
“Good?”
“Yes.”
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
“This is how you want it?”
“Yes. Good-bye, dear.”
She’s gone now.
It’s time.
Six, dressed in black, filed in.
She’s gone now.
It’s time.
Six, dressed in black, filed in.
If you want to give this a try, be sure to go to Mr. Know-It-All's blog and leave him a comment on his Flash 55 post. It was his idea, after all. It's a good exercise for writers to hone their words to the minimum.
Oh, wow--you've sent my imagination in fifty different directions with that one, imagining all the possible backstories. Terrific! And the lovely hemlock, a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan! and thank you for suggesting this site. I love it.
ReplyDeleteGreat story. It has so many possiblities.
ReplyDeleteThe other reason for writing a 55 and the reason I try is simply because its fun. I have no talent to hone.
This is cool.
ReplyDeleteBrevity is not my strong point, so maybe I should try it.
Thanks for the link.
Wow! You have a powerful imagination, girlfriend! I wrote a Flash55 Story yesterday and posted it on my Blog. Then when I sent G-Man a comment, he looked at my story and in his comment he asked that I contact you to let you know you need to send him a link to your blog so he can read your story. I was confused about how to do that, also, so I put my blog address in the comment I left for him. (Did I say all that in 55 words or less? Noooooo!)
ReplyDeleteFrickin FINALLY!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnyway...Granny Sue, did you have fun doing this?
I hope so because I sure would like you playing again next week.
I Loved your 55. I'll mark this on my Fav's so I can be on-time as well.
Have fun at your convention...Galen
Well, like I was GONE for a couple days. Then had to go search online just how to do the link. I'm as savvy with this as I need to be, so I just learn to do things when it's necessary to do the next thing I want to do.
ReplyDeleteI loved the exercise. I do similar ones sometimes at one-minute writer, and at First50. Often the short piece gives me an idea for something longer.