Monday, February 15, 2010

Jon's Fund and Thinking about the Future and the Past

You may have noticed the new Donate button on my sidebar.
A fund for Jon's family has been set up to help them through the coming years--college looms, and unfortunately his life insurance was in transition and will not be as much as it might have been in two weeks. There are many efforts afoot to assure that life can go on as normally as possible for his family, and this fund is one of them. It has been established by Connelly and Associates, where Jon was part owner and the job he loved passionately. I've posted the Donate button on this blog to make it easier for family and friends to find.

Being home is better than I thought it would be. Here I have things to do. My cat, always on the affectionate side, did not leave me all yesterday evening or all night. While we were away she apparently even made friends with the dogs, something I'd given up on.

There were cards and letters here too--piles of them waiting for us, from friends and family all over the US, Canada and England. I cannot tell you how much your words meant to me. While only a few of you have experienced the death of your child, many of you offered comfort simply by saying, "I'm here. I care." Thank you all more than you know. I will send out thank you notes soon but wanted to say it now because I am overwhelmed by your kindness.

Other things are slowly coming together. I called to see what it would take to establish a family burial plot on our land. While Jon is buried in Virginia near his daughters and wife, I want to be sure we have the option open to any family members who want to be buried here on the homeplace. I learned that there is no real regulation of family cemeteries--only assure that access is easy to prevent future problems, and add a note to my deed at the County Clerk's office as to the location and size of the plot set aside for the cemetery. How simple, and how right that a family should be able to make a place to hold their loved ones.

More snow is forecast for tonight and tomorrow--for now it has stopped and the sun is shining brightly. I am inside by the fireplace, thinking about my son and his life here as a boy growing to manhood. I realized yesterday that Jon is the first person I have known for the whole of their life, from birth to the end. It does not cause me sadness, although there is certainly pain that the end came so soon and unexpectedly. But his was a life lived to the fullest, filled with love and laughter, adventure and action, reflection and purpose. When my time is over, I hope the same will be true of my life.


Cathy said...

You are a strong and wonderful woman. Where many would be in the depths of despair, you have taken that sadness and grown from it. Wow.

Susan at Stony River said...

I think the family cemetery is a beautiful idea; how wonderful to be together and at home.

Thank you for the donation button--I sent what I could, and hope to have more to give later. When my father died, it took forever for everything to come through for my mother, from insurance to social security, and meanwhile she suddenly had nothing to live on. Those months were hard enough to face, without financial worries.

I'm glad you're home safe. Fergus keeps asking about you and says he doesn't want you to be sad--yesterday he asked to see our photos from this summer and the pictures of you happy.

Which reminds me, to finish putting together our book of our summer and finally send you one! And finally -- good for that cat. I hope it lasts.


Granny Sue said...

Susan, tell Fergus I am not sad not, only remembering. There are so many good times and good things to hold on to, and being sad colors all of it gray.

Bless your heart for donating. It takes time to get all the paperwork done and there are some complicated things that have to be worked out. The stress, as you know, is in the waiting.

Cathy, not so strong as knowing I cannot change what is, and need to accept it and rejoice in the memories. Sometimes it's easier than others.

Nance said...

"Jon is the first person I have known for the whole of their life, from birth to the end . . ."

Sue, this makes me weep. I wish you didn't know both. I wish you knew just the beginning . . . and didn't know the end. That is the natural order of things.

Robbyn said...

I love the idea of a family cemetery. I'm glad you're back in the comfort of your home and that the trip was safe, and that your son's life was so authentic and vibrant. Sending much love to you from Florida to your snow covered mountains...

Robbyn and Jack

Twisted Fencepost said...

I am with Nance....that phrase definitely tugged at my heart strings.
Peace be with you, Susanna!

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