Sunday, August 14, 2016

So Hot That...

It started with Tony. He put up a post on Facebook about this heat wave. Tony had some pretty descriptive ideas for the heat, which prompted more from his friends. I picked up the idea and started a post on my own Facebook page, inviting people to share their "It's so hot that..." yarns. There were some great submissions, and that made me think I should share them with you. (And that is how some blog posts come about, isn't it? One idea leading to another.)

So here they are, starting with my original post. The names have been removed to protect the innocent:

My friend Tony Toledo posted that it was so hot in his neck of New England that the birds were using potholders to pull the worms out of the ground. I responded with "in WV it's so hot the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs and the potatoes are already baked when we dig them up. So hot the compost heap is turning into coal before our very eyes. So hot the shine makers have changed over to making ice wine."

It's so hot in New Mexico that the green chilis are becoming Chili Rellenos on the vine!

Sad to say it's so dry up here in New Hampshire I used a thimble to empty a pond and I still had room in it for the surviving fish. The frog wouldn't fit, but I took him down to the river. 

It's so hot, I'm sweatin' like a whore in church. 

It is so hot in Ohio that the corn is sweating. (No joke. Corn sweat is a real thing!)

It's so windy here, a chicken laid the same egg four times...

So hot in MA my brain is too fried to think of anything better to quip with...and we are breathing pea soup from the humidity.

It was so hot yesterday, I baked a 2 layer carrot cake in my car.

So hot here in SE Ohio that the maters are already stewed as I pick them from the vine and the oregano is already dried and ready to be stored away for adding to those maters during the winter when I get a hankering for spaghetti!!

So hot here in NC, the watermelons are exploding like bombs in the fields...and this is true! Really messy. No it is true. my neighbor grows a big field of them. if you don't get them out of the field quick when they are ripe, they fester and explode. he gave us three. Two were delicious, but one blew up on the table outside on the porch. OMG the mess to clean up. Seeds on the ceiling. Red melon meat everywhere. And it did not smell too pleasant either. Yes it looked like a slaughterhouse.

It's so hot here in Illinois that our corn on the cob comes pre-popped. (And if you think it can't happen, check out this video.)

So hot that the devil is interviewing our engineers.

So hot that everything upright is now considered a wick.

So hot that in constantly kicking the bedsheets off, I've now trained harder than Michael Phelps.

And it's so hot that Trump comes here to inhale.

"It's so hot the lead melted off my homework."

It's so hot in NE Texas this morning that I almost got mugged by a gecko when I went out with the water hose to spray off the patio.

It's so hot here in NH that lobsters are jumping in pots of boiling water just to cool off. 

The sunflowers have died in SC. True story....mostly due to drought ..

So hot you don't have to iron your clothes. Just lay them out on the porch for ten minutes.

So hot the popcorn popped in the field. The plow mule thought it was snow and froze to death. This is an old south Georgia joke from my childhood. I live in VA now where we have real snow just not right now.

So hot the hot air coming out of the U.S. Capitol feels like air conditioning.

It's so hot, Trump had to take off his wig.

It's so hot here in Ohio, the vegetables out there in my garden have aleady turned into

So hot that I just cooked eggs on the top of the car.

In the cool Colorado mountains, it's warm (by your standards). Sometime we call it hot if we're in the sun for too long.

It helps to laugh about it--knowing so many of us are in the same hot boat makes it better somehow.

So, how how is it where you are?

Copyright Susanna Holstein. All rights reserved. No Republication or Redistribution Allowed without attribution to Susanna Holstein.


Quinn said...

It's so hot (and humid) that I'm not speaking to the weather. Guess I showed it!

Jenny said...

It's not hot here at all in Arkansas. We're in the balmy 70's with almost no humidity. We enjoyed a picnic supper & walked the dog. It feels like fall! It surely doesn't feel like the south!

annie said...

I had to toss my mini watermelon 2 days ago, it was my first, it really did explode, thankfully in the garden.
Guess the birds over the fence will enjoy it. It was pale pink inside and maybe 6 " in diameter.

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