A friend posted on Facebook that many of her dreams take place at her grandparents' house. Other people commented that the same is true for them. But not for me. I never, to my knowledge, dream of my grandparents' homes. And there is a good reason for that.
Since I only went to my (German) grandmother's house a very few times as a child, I hardly remember it.She didn't like us and made it plain--I think I was only allowed inside once, and I well remember my mother's nervousness and watchfulness lest one of us broke something, or did something Grandma (her mother-in-law) would disapprove of.
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| Grandma's home on Great Falls Street, in Falls Church, VA |
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| Outside their home in Falls Church, the day of Grandpa's retirement I believe. |
The next year, Grandpa retired from the Coast Guard, and my grandparents decided to move back to New Orleans where they had lived for many years. They moved in with their youngest son, who was single, and they gave almost all their furniture, books, records, and dishes to us. I never saw their home in New Orleans, and only knew they later moved to Houston when I found a copy of Grandpa's obituary (he was killed in an accident with a truck in 1961).
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| Ashlyn, Caldecote, England |
I never saw my Granny's home in England. With so many children, our family certainly could not afford to travel to England. By the time I finally got to England the little house my Grandfather built was long gone. Only Highfields, the house she lived in for a few years while my Grandfather managed Highfields Farm, is still standing.
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| Highfields, in 2013 when I visited England for the first time. I've been back twice since then. |
Granny and Grandfather rented out their own little house while they lived in the bigger home, but when this grandfather was also killed by a car, hit on the Old Roman Road in 1930, Granny moved back to the little house they called Ashlyn.
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| My mother and my Granny, about 1935 |
An aunt and uncle built a new house next door, and together the family raised gardens, chickens and the like. Granny remarried when she was in her late 60's and moved into a caravan (we would call it a mobile home) on the property, with her new husband, who was actually the father of my aunt's husband. Very confusing, I know! Later other family members lived in Ashlyn, until finally the little house was torn down and a new house built. When Granddad died, Granny moved into a council house in town, and I am sure she enjoyed the luxury of a nice house with maintenance provided. She lived there until she passed away at 99.
So I never got to see my Granny's little house Ashlyn, although I am sure I would have loved it. It was simple little place, but it had something seldom seen in England: a front porch. There were roses in the garden, and chickens, and Granny put up food much as I do. Yes, I would have liked to have seen it, just as it was when she lived there.
I hope my grandchildren will dream about being at my house, and that their dreams will be good ones. They have all spent a good deal of time here, and I know my memories of their growing-up years are all good ones. Lots of laughter, comings and goings, people sleeping wherever we could find a place. Those were good years. And good memories.
Copyright Susanna Holstein. All rights reserved. No Republication or Redistribution Allowed without attribution to Susanna Holstein.
"She didn't like us..."
ReplyDeleteWhy?
Since she was the paternal grandmother, I suppose she did not approve of the woman, her son married.
Tough old 'bird'...!!!!
Tough old 'broad'...!!!!
-smile-
You're right. Grandma wanted Dad to come home from the war and go to college. And marry Gertie, a girl he'd apparently been dating for a while. Instead he married a slim English girl whose health wasn't the best, and brought her home from the war with him. Grandma thought the English were snooty and lazy, according to my father. She didn't approve of all the children either, and referred to us in letters are hellions :) We probably were. We learned a lot about her feelings about us in her letters--she and her daughter, my aunt, saved all letters, a regular treasure trove. But she didn't hold back in her letters to my aunt. Understandable because she thought those letters would never be read by anyone else, especially not me or my siblings. She came around in later years to love my mother, but I never was around her much at all,either in childhood or later in life.
ReplyDeleteHaving had the pleasure of meeting you both, I am very sure that their memories will be fond and good ones.
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ReplyDeleteThank you, Gretel--I hope so! We had so much fun with them--cooking or making crafts, going for rides in the wagon behind the tractor, cutting firewood, telling stories...good times :)
When I was little my Granny's house was my house, of course. She used to sleep at Ashlyn though she spent the day-time looking after Grandpa in the caravan - this was before they got married. Though she also spent a lot of that time with your family and with Aunt Dorothy. When she was at Ashlyn I used to go and get in bed beside her in the mornings while she had a morning cuppa. When Grandpa died she actually moved into a small house in Grantchester, just a few minutes away from where we were living. Did we ever show you that house? Dad or I used to go see her every evening and Mum used to see her most afternoons. When she was about 95 she decided that she would move to an old people's home - she was worried after she fell asleep a couple of times while her lunch was cooking and she thought she might set fire to the house if she stayed there alone. She then moved to a beautiful newly-built facility in Waterbeach, just north of Cambridge. She chose this place for herself, reasoning that she didn't want to move into a room where someone had just died.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the additional information, John! How I envied you when I was a child, with Granny right there. She was so sweet to us, and I would have loved popping round for a cup of tea. What a treat! I knew about the Grantchester house, but didn't remember the last place she lived. She was so common-sense, wasn't she? She made the transitions herself. Unlike me former mother-in-law, who could not bear to leave her home until she was so ill she had to go into the hospital for months, and then to a long-term care place. My oldest son had to go get her from Florida and make arrangements for her care, and went to see her every day in the hospital and nursing home--but she had lost most of her memory by then and usually didn't know who he was. I guess we all have to face this in the end, and make tough decisions, but it seemed like Granny just looked at her situation and decided for herself what was best for everyone. A sweetheart to the end.
ReplyDeleteI hope I am as sensible when my time comes. And if I posted this comment twice, I hope you are sensible and delete one 😂
DeleteMy maternal grandmother was the only grandparent living when I was born. She lived in a little basement apartment in Beckley. It was on the side of a steep hill so the 'front' had windows & the back was built into the ground. The main floor of the house faced the main street & the owners lived there. I didn't get to stay with her very often & not until I was almost out of high school. I was the youngest grandchild & by the time I came along she didn't have energy to have us visit overnight anymore.
ReplyDeleteMy husband can tell me memories of 12 grandparents....that just blows my mind. Literally all of his grandparents, most of his great grandparents & a few great-great grandparents. The oldest he really can't remember much...like one great-great grandmother all he remembers is her funeral & another all he remembers is his mother pointing her out to him once. My husband was adopted when he was three by his stepdad when his mother married. So he says there were more grandparents from his biological father he never remembers meeting though his mother says he did meet them.
He has such precious, wonderful memories. He wrote letters to his favorite grandmother for over 40 yrs.
I have one grandchild who stays with me about 20 hours a week. I do so hope he his memories of being with us are as precious to him as they are to me.
Thank you for your interesting comment. My main hope is that my grandchildren remember there times with me. Our youngest is not quite five so i need another 15 years with sweet Vega. My oldest is 21. We good! Lol
DeleteOh Sue, how special to have good memories too and additions from John as well. I have good memories of staying at my Dad's Mom (Grandma) and I learned a lot from her. She was an artist, a gardener, a hard working and strong willed rancher's wife and I loved her dearly. My Mom's Mom was a character - when we were young teachers in our first home and every penny was allocated Grandma came to visit us for a week or so - flew to Vancouver and phoned us. She didn't say anything negative - we had no curtains and she just said 'what a beautiful view from your windows'. She was a treasure. She died in her car - ran into a drug dealer's silver car (sunshine was blinding) on the side of the main highway. Her children had her buried in a black coffin that looked like a car. Your post today brought back many memories.
ReplyDeleteJoy
What a wealth of grandparents your husband had, Jenny! It boggles the mind. Children are so fortunate if they have that backbone of support; I never thought about it until I moved to WV and saw how families here had such close ties to grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. We did not have that when I was a child, and moving here put us hours and hours away from my sons' grandparents. So they also grew up without that closeness, although we did visit home at least once a year and they were warmly welcomed by all their extended family on my side-their Dad was an only child and had only an elderly aunt and uncle, and his grandmother on his mother's side--on his father's side there was estrangement so he seldom saw any of his father's large family. A shame, that. His situation was rather like yours, I think, Jenny. You are creating the right environment for your grandson, lucky boy!
ReplyDeleteJoy, what colorful, loving memories! I can only hope my grandchildren will recall me as lovingly.
ReplyDeleteI have fond memories of both my grandparents and the time I got to spend with them. I loved every minute. I was lucky to have one great grandparent too who died when I was in my twenties. I still have a great aunt alive, my children's great-great aunt she is 102 now and still lives in her own home, we see her once a year. I love listening to the stories she tells, she is still so sharp and has a great memory.
ReplyDeleteLovely post Sue, families are so important aren't they, I love the bonds you can create.