55°f this morning, a perfect Fall day.
I am still here, although I wouldn't say I am kicking up my heels yet!
Here is my new best friend:
He is stable, dependable, and always there for me. What more could I ask?
Here are some of his cohorts:
First, Mr. Ice Machine. This thing is pretty cool, literally. You put water and ice in it, and it pumps water through a big tube to a knee wrap, so my knee is constantly being iced.
I don't have photos of my toilet booster seat! I didn't think I would need one but boy was I wrong. And then, my first night home! I had to pee every 45 minutes! It was a terrible night, I can tell you. Larry picked that night (and the next) to get good and drunk. I can't even tell you how upset I was. (More about that later.) He would not come when I called him, and was pretty darn nasty about it to boot. Dear Sarah dealt with him as best she could, and I kicked him out of our bedroom, where I was trying to sleep on our bed. The bed was just too high, so in the middle of the night I somehow pushed the 4" memory foam pad off the bed and rearranged the covers and pillows so I could sleep at the foot instead of the head of the bed. I did not want to wake Sarah to help, as she had had a heck of a day already, but it was rough, being the day after surgery. Still, gotta do what we gotta do. So, that was quite a night what with making gazillion trips to the bathroom
Next day, Sarah, bless her, went to town and bought me some Depends. I don't know when anything has made me so happy! And I never thought I would have to wear those things, but again, this falls into the gotta do category. Apparently this frequent, urgent urination is a side effect of the pain medication for some people, and unfortunately I am one of those unlucky souls. Ah me, this too shall pass.
As for Larry, yes, I was and still am angry and upset with him. I do believe that he was feeling like he would not be able to do a good job with me, and it is a fact that in the past he has been a terrible nurse. The drinking might have been a way to escape his feelings about that, but I am no psychologist. Last evening Sarah and our son Derek removed every bit of alcohol from the house, and hid the car keys so he could not go out to buy more. He is angry about that, but after searching every cabinet in the house, realized there was no more. He fell twice during his spree, once in the shower and once outside, and today he is hurting from that.
Now, I like my glass of wine in the evening, and when we go out for dinner. It is a treat, you know? But I am happy to give it up if he will finally try to stop drinking. It started out slow-- we would but a bottle of wine on the weekends. Then I caught him hiding beer. This was almost 30 years ago, and it has gotten worse over time, although he has often cut way back and it was okay. But it is not okay any more. How we will get him to quit, I don't know, but quit he must. Keep us in your prayers/thoughts/ whatever you can that we can find a way through this. I love the man, but I hate this.
Oh you have a major knee issue to deal with now! And the need to urinate as a side effect of meds...nice mess there! Glad you've nursing help so much. And do you have the little machine to pedal with so you work your knee? Maybe that will come with PT. The problem with someone who wants to drink is that they must be the one who wants to quit, not others making it hard for them to get alcohol. So sadly enough, that's a short term solution. Sorry about that.
ReplyDelete..I hope that you will be on the mend ASAP!
ReplyDeleteTrying, Tom, trying!
DeleteSo everything seems going well..all you need now is time for the knee to recover completely. I am confident that you are soon back to the normal. Why do you need to keep the knee iced all the time? Because it was swollen?
ReplyDeleteYes, the icebis to reduce swelling. Helps with pain too. The compression devices reduce the chances of blood clots.
DeleteYou have a lot to deal with now, both physically and emotionally. I'm so glad that Sarah is there to help you. Maybe when you are mended, you can find an AA group. I have heard that its useful for the family members to attend even if the drinker is not ready to go yet. Prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, June. I need some support counseling for sure and will be seeking that.
DeleteThat post was loaded! Sounds like your recovery is going as it should, but boy, it is a lot! As for the last half....wow. We do like our alcohol, but we both know we can go without it when we want to. When I was working at the farm, I purposely did not bring any and did not have any for the first two weeks I was there. I wish you the best of luck with everything you are dealing with.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you are dealing with a problem drinker. As others have noted, you can't make them stop. They have to make that decision for themselves. AA is a good support for you, and teaches you how to set the boundaries you need to set to push them towards solving their problems. Good luck. I have a notion that the knee will heal before the man does.
ReplyDeleteI have had both knees done and so can relate to the walker and ice and compression joys. Unfortunate that the meds hit your bladder; the last thing you needed. For the first six weeks after each knee I wished I had not done it. After that I was grateful that I did. Be sure to do your bending exercises, even when it seems impossible. The more you keep to the regimen, the better your long term gain will be.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about Larry's addiction. Mine is to cigarettes and so I can sympathise with his need. And with yours to have him stable and in control. I hope that works out.
I will be thinking and hoping for you.
Glad to hear you are on the mend, slow but you'll get there. Larry's very lucky he didn't get seriously hurt when he fell, you don't need another health issue right now or really ever especially from drinking. Wishing you the best!
ReplyDeleteI am glad to see your post and that your recovery is going as it should. Slow, but sure! Glad you have some help, but I am sorry to read about Larry. It is something he will have to decide, but I know he must stop. My prayers are with you. Sending only the best vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteI was going to joke about you calling your stable and dependable. I was going to ask if oyu wer sure it was a he in that case. Sorry you’re having trouble with your guy, especially when you need it least.
ReplyDeleteThat was me. /AC
ReplyDeleteGood to hear that you are getting along and making do. What a cozy place to recuperate and you sure have a great attitude! Prayers being sent that Larry realizes that he needs to step up and make that decision to quit and prayers that he is willing to seek the help he needs.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so honest. I felt quite alone with... "woman issues" but you and my friend fK (who is 6 years younger than me) help me along finally.
ReplyDeletefK says, getting old is nothing for fearful people.
And my FIL uses to say: You can die or get old. Let´s get old then. With a beer or wine here and there... Glad Larry is willing to go to the here and there. Problem not unknown here, either.
Well, I started catching up by reading your blogposts starting back at the beginning of September, and my oh my you have been even busier than usual which is really saying something. Dog escapades and booth-arranging and many, many medical appointments (ugh) and what sounds like a top-to-bottom house-scouring. And now your awaited knee-surgery is behind you (yay!) and "all" that's left is the exercises (no shortcuts there, unfortunately, but it should pay off in the end) and taking it easy for a bit. Or at least taking it easier. And I hope Larry pulls his socks up. Awfully disheartening to be let down that way.
ReplyDeleteDid my comment post as Anonymous? Can't imagine why, but just as I clicked Publish I thought I saw Anonymous. I'll pay more attention next time.
ReplyDeleteIt did, Quinn. Blogger has been doing that quite often. I can occasionally figure out who it is! It is so good to hear from you. Will call you soon, just to hear your voice.
DeleteI am sorry to hear that you are dealing with so many things at once. Like others have said no one is going to get help until they realise that they have a problem and then pride will get in the way for a while. It is so hard for those around those that need help, I hope you can find the support you need at this time too.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear. As one who has abused alcohol much of his life, I can sympathize with one who has to put up with it. He will just have to realize himself some day the agony he causes. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote the post on Saturday and here it is Monday and I'm hoping that things have eased up....the swelling in your knee as well as the sleeping problems. Then there's the relationship issues to deal with which are difficult even when one is in good health let alone flattened by serious surgery. I hope and pray you find the strength to cope. Blessings, GM
ReplyDelete