Time, Forward and Back

Turning back the clocks yesterday got me thinking about time. How it controls our lives. How we use it for both good and bad. How quickly it passes sometimes, and how slowly at others.

At this point of my life, time is passing all too quickly. While just a few years ago I thought comfortably that I possibly had at least a quarter of my life left to live--now I see that window narrowing perceptibly as each day goes by. Sometimes it leaves a feeling of desperation because there are so many things I have yet to do, see, feel, and hear.Other times, I look back and think how awesome this ride has been so far, even with its pain and sorrow--there has been much joy to balance it all.

Yesterday, after our busy day of apple butter making, and after a month of travel and work, I was pretty useless. I was glad to have that extra hour and yet, by seven in the evening I wanted to go to bed! I forced myself to stay up until nine, and even then I knew I'd be awake much too early. After my son and granddaughter left, I spent yesterday cleaning up from the weekend, doing a little cooking and otherwise just wandering around the house thinking that I should do something--but there was no energy behind the thought.

Which got me back to thinking about time. All the clocks in my house seem to be set at different times.

My bedside clock is ten minutes fast so I can fool myself into thinking I'm lying in when really I'm getting up at the planned time.

The kitchen clock is about 15 minutes fast to allow the time from the door to the car and up the driveway when we go somewhere--I never factor that part into travel plans so I have to allow for it by the kitchen clock, which is our main go-to for the time.

This clock in the log room runs backwards. I don't know why, it just does, so it lives in its own time-warp, and sometimes I like to visit that dimension too.

The little crystal clock on the end table is sometimes right on the money, unless the battery dies and I forget to change it. In the bathroom, another crystal clock is 15 minutes fast for no reason whatsoever, I just forget to change it.

Larry's bedside clock might be the only one in the house with the right time most of the time,

but maybe this award clock is right too, so long as I remember to put in a new battery when needed.

I'm never really sure--the only place I know I can find the exact right time is this computer. As I took these photos, I set all the clocks to 4 o'clock, or somewhere close to it, but it took me a while to get around to them all, so none of them are really right now.

We have so many minutes in a day, whatever the clocks say. How we use them is up to us, of course. Some people think writing this blog is a waste of my time--I could be writing a book, they say. For me, it's a place to think, to share, to promote this beautiful state of West Virginia and to record my life journal-style.

Others consider Facebook a to be time-wasting, but for me it's my connection to the world since often I see no one for several days except my husband. I enjoy seeing babies, costumes, fall photos, birthday wishes and news of what's going on with friends and family.

We all waste time in one way or another, be it online, mindless shopping trips, a bad relationship, a job we hate, or a place we don't want to live. We make the choices, don't we? Deciding what is worth the precious moments we're allotted is up to each one of us. The key, I think, is making those decisions consciously.

And today, I choose to write, think, and read. Sometimes doing nothing much at all is really the best use of time of all.

Copyright Susanna Holstein. All rights reserved. No Republication or Redistribution Allowed without attribution to Susanna Holstein.