We went out to some sales and flea markets over the weekend, and some of the things I heard still make me laugh, some touched my heart. Here's a sample:
"I'm 92 years old. I still drive. I'm full-blooded Cherokee and my mother left all of us kids when I was five. I don't need a man." A man responded to her: "Hey, just to be your friend?" Her reply: "I don't need no man friends either. I do fine all by myself." And got in her car and drove away.
A man's wife was trying to get his attention at a flea market, so she whistled. He didn't turn around, just kept on walking. "Hey Joe! I'm trying to get your attention! Didn't you hear me whistle?" His reply: "I don't turn around and look at women who whistle at me."
"My wife died about 15 years ago. I didn't know what to do with myself so I've just been traveling. Louisiana, Minnesota, Montana, now here. She was my third wife. First one, they never did find out why she died. Second one was cancer and she didn't last more than a month after she was diagnosed. Third one, cancer too, although you would never have known she was sick to look at her. Then she started just wasting away. Hardest thing I've ever gone through, watching her die a little at a time."
Teenage girl to a recently retired military man: "So, you were pretty high-ranking in the military. How does it feel to go from being so important to nothing?" (Then she was covered in confusion, trying to explain what she actually meant while everyone else was rolling with laughter.)
"Sometimes I wake up and I'm talking to my husband. He's been gone twenty years. He was a veteran you know, he's buried over to Grafton in the national cemetery. I can't get there very often, it's so far and I can't drive any more. But I still talk to him in my sleep. Sometimes I hear him answer. Not often enough though."
"She was an x-ray technician in World War II. Wasn't she pretty? She never married but she traveled everywhere, New York, Washington, Chicago, all over. She's in the nursing home now, 96 years old."
Copyright Susanna Holstein. All rights reserved. No Republication or Redistribution Allowed without attribution to Susanna Holstein.